I wanted a good laugh, so I searched for definitions of philosophy. Here are some highlights:
According to some, philosophy can be defined as...1. The study of pretension and douchebaggery.
2. The theoretical ramblings of dead people.
3. Nerdspeak.
4. Mind and ego masturbation often to a state of ecstatic psyche ejaculation which often splashes onto ignorant passers by who are very often easily impressed by this process due to their own woeful ignorance.
5. A study of meaningless things for no apparent reason, funded by you... the taxpayer.
A counter-productive, meditative manner of thinking often exerted by those under the influence of hallucinogenic drugs.
6. A type of disease which used to be widespread in antiquity associated with the Y chromosome.Ex: "Hey Nigel, what's up man!?!?""Dude, leave him alone, he's being philosophical right now..."
"Man, he must be trippin' balls!"
7. The art of self-confusion. 8. A bizarre form of mental aerobic exercise in which one strives towards the essentially divine goal of completely forcing oneself up ones own sphincter using only the power of the mind.
9. Totally uninformitave vacuous bullshit adored by the pompous and arrogant for it's shallowness and transparency and lack of substance.
10. A typically useless major in college, unless you want to get a Ph.D. in it or go to law school.
Ex: I majored in philosophy in college, and now I clean toilets for a living.
